The Company You Keep: How Your Circle Shapes Your Path

 

By Gilda Notarbartolo, Italian Girl Touch

The people we choose to walk with in life don’t just share our journey—they shape it. There’s an old Italian proverb that says, “He who walks with the lame learns to limp.” It’s not a judgment on physical differences but a vivid metaphor for a universal truth: the company we keep influences our habits, mindset, and destiny. We all learn through personal challenges that surrounding ourselves with uplifting, growth-oriented people fuels our resilience, while toxic influences can subtly pull us off course. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, we adapt to those around us—our pace, our perspective, even our dreams begin to mirror theirs.

In this Italian Girl Touch reflection, we’ll explore the science behind social influence and share practical ways to choose companions who elevate your path. 

The Power of Social Influence: Why Your Circle Matters

Our relationships are more than companionship—they’re mirrors reflecting who we are and who we’re becoming. Social network research shows that behaviors, emotions, and even health outcomes are contagious within our circles (Christakis & Fowler, 2009). Happiness spreads through social ties, increasing well-being by up to 15% when we’re surrounded by positive people (Fowler & Christakis, 2008). But the flip side is just as potent: negativity, toxic habits, or limiting beliefs can “infect” us, reshaping our mindset over time (Hill et al., 2010). There was a time when I spent most of my days with people who constantly complained, criticized, and saw the worst in everything. I didn’t notice it at first, but their negativity started to seep into my own thoughts—I became more anxious, more reactive, less hopeful. It wasn’t until I began surrounding myself with people who practiced gratitude, kindness, and emotional honesty that I felt my inner peace return. My mindset shifted, and so did my energy.

The proverb captures this dynamic: walk with those who “limp” through life with pessimism or destructive habits, and you may unconsciously adopt their gait. It’s not about blame—it’s about the brain’s social wiring. Mirror neurons make us mimic those around us, from body language to attitudes (Iacoboni, 2009). Over time, this can normalise behaviors we once questioned, like staying in a draining job or tolerating negativity. But when we choose companions who inspire growth, our path becomes clearer, our steps bolder.

The Science of Social Contagion

Why do our companions shape us so profoundly? Social contagion theory explains that emotions and behaviors spread like ripples through networks, influencing everything from happiness to stress (Christakis & Fowler, 2009). A study in Psychological Science found that positive social interactions boost oxytocin and serotonin, enhancing mood and resilience (Algoe, 2012). Conversely, negative relationships elevate cortisol, increasing stress and reducing self-efficacy (Seeman et al., 2001). For women, who often prioritise relational harmony, this effect is amplified—negative influences can subtly erode confidence (Nolen-Hoeksema, 2012).

In my journey as a video maker, I’ve seen this firsthand. Collaborating with creative, uplifting colleagues sparked my best work, while toxic connections drained my energy, making every project feel heavier. The science is clear: our brains adapt to our environment, for better or worse. Choosing who we walk with isn’t just a preference—it’s a strategy for thriving.

Three Mindful Practices to Choose Your Circle Wisely

Ready to surround yourself with people who lift you up? Here are three science-backed practices, inspired by my Free Mindfulness Starter Kit, to align your circle with your growth:

1. Sensory Grounding to Assess Relationships (Day 3 of the Kit)
   Take 2 minutes to ground yourself: notice 3 things you see, 2 you hear, 1 you feel. Then reflect: “Does this person’s energy inspire or drain me?” This practice interrupts automatic patterns, helping you evaluate relationships mindfully (Nolen-Hoeksema, 2012). I used this to step back from a negative colleague, reclaiming my focus. Try this: Practice grounding before a social interaction to choose connections consciously.

2. Gratitude Journaling for Positive Bonds (Day 6 of the Kit)
   Write down one person who uplifts you and why they matter. Gratitude strengthens positive relationships, boosting dopamine and fostering connection (Emmons & McCullough, 2003). Journaling about a supportive friend helped me prioritize those who fuel my creativity. Try this: Spend 2 minutes nightly reflecting on a positive interaction, using the kit’s journal prompt.

3. Confidence Affirmation for Boundaries (Day 4 of the Kit)
   Say, “I choose relationships that honor my growth,” three times daily. Affirmations enhance self-efficacy, empowering you to set boundaries with negative influences (Cascio et al., 2016). This practice gave me the courage to distance myself from draining connections as a journalist. Try this: Pair the affirmation with Day 15’s prompt from the 60-Day Self-Love Journey journal: “What boundary will you set to protect your energy?”

These tools, rooted in mindfulness, help you curate a circle that reflects your best self. Find them in the Free Mindfulness Starter Kit at https://mailchi.mp/f14e2ab96eb4/free-mindfulness-starter-kit. -

(Il Kit in ITALIANO qui: https://mailchi.mp/f8a5698ab808/dxeezfvc57)

Practical Steps to Walk Your Path

• Audit Your Circle: List five people you spend the most time with. Do they inspire growth or pull you down? Take one small step, like scheduling a coffee with an uplifting friend.

• Set Boundaries with Kindness: If someone’s energy feels heavy, limit interactions without guilt. A simple, “I’m focusing on my goals right now,” works wonders.

• Seek Growth-Oriented Communities: Join groups aligned with your values, like wellness workshops or creative networks. Share your journey with #OndaFelice to connect with like-minded women.

In my career, choosing to collaborate with positive, driven creatives transformed my work and my happiness at work. Every step toward a supportive circle is a step toward your brightest self.

Your Path, Your Choice

The company you keep shapes the path you walk. Choose companions who lift you up, challenge you to grow, and reflect the person you’re becoming. Reflect: Who in your circle inspires you, and how can you nurture that bond? Share your thoughts with me here on Instagram or Youtube, and let’s build a community of women walking with purpose.

Final Note

Your path is yours to shape, one step at a time. Surround yourself with those who walk with strength, and you’ll find your own stride. Keep growing, keep shining, and let’s walk toward a brighter tomorrow together. Have a read of this blog, italiangirltouch.blogspot.com for more tools, and share your journey with me if you feel.

With love and presence,

Gilda 

Extra RESOURCES for you

 Ready to walk with purpose? Download my Free Mindfulness Starter Kit  , share your journey with me, and dive deeper with our community on YouTube or the 60-Day Self-Love Journey journal on Etsy.

References:

• Algoe, S. B. (2012). Find, remind, and bind: The functions of gratitude in everyday relationships. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 6(6), 455–469.

• Cascio, C. N., et al. (2016). Self-affirmation activates brain systems associated with self-related processing and reward. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 11(4), 621–629.

• Christakis, N. A., & Fowler, J. H. (2009). Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives. Little, Brown Spark.

• Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389.

• Fowler, J. H., & Christakis, N. A. (2008). Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network: Longitudinal analysis over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study. British Medical Journal, 337, a2338.

• Hill, A. L., et al. (2010). Emotions as infectious diseases in a large social network: The SISa model. Proceedings of the Royal Society B, 277(1701), 3827–3835.

• Iacoboni, M. (2009). Mirroring people: The new science of how we connect with others. Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

• Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2012). Ruminative coping and stress: A review. Frontiers in Psychology, 3, 1–12.

• Seeman, T. E., et al. (2001). Social relationships, gender, and allostatic load across two age cohorts. Psychosomatic Medicine, 63(3), 395–406.